Album Review: Extortion

Band: Extortion

Album: Sick

Genre: Power Violence/Fastcore

Year: 2008

Label: ???

Website: www.myspace.com/extortionextortion

Review: A week or so ago, a little band called Green Day played a song off their new album live at the Grammy's with help from the cast of NBC's "Glee", a musical television show written by pedophiles and people who cut themselves when they masterbate. It was not only a confirmation that Punk music was dead, but actually had returned from the dead as a zombie creating packaged rebellion for the corporate generation.

It is atrocities such as these that make me so grateful that bands like Extortion exist. No ballads, no singing, no teen angst, no fucking mercy, the way it should be. This album is so raw, you can smell whatever sweaty basement they practiced and wrote these songs in. Luckily, the production is razorsharp, a somewhat odd choice for Punk bands, and perfectly captures all the anarchy.

The piss, hate and rage just oozes from the speakers, and I just love it. Extortion plays exceptionally tight and in time for a Power Violence band and make one hell of a whiplash while doing it. On top of it all the vocalist murder's out the lyrics like he was stabbing CEO's to death with a number two pencil in the recording booth.

Through the course of the album, the guitarist drop some cool dissonant chords and riffs into the mix to keep things interesting. Check out the track 'Medication', which starts with an intense blast riff based on one of those "ree-ree-ree" style of chords, only to delve into the most badass two-step since Honeybucket. Someday Green Day will tour Australia, and these guys will be waiting backstage to murder them.

Bonus Points: After trying to learn some of their songs, I realized the band plays in standard tuning, a rather remarkable feat for such a ferocious band.

Download 'Medication' Here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3aa504410be3b464e7ba8e3c6e11ce206006a82711e6c9f1a9a26c4ed87536eb

Album Review: Atka

Band: Atka

Album: Atka/Shimetsu Split

Genre: Grindcore, Tech-Death Influences

Year:  2009

Label: Ecocentric Records

Website: www.myspace.com/atkametal

Review: Yeah it is kind of wierd that I'm only reviewing one half of a split, but honestly when it comes to this kind of music, the half-a-split is a format as important as the full length itself. It's perfectly suited for Grind bands, who only need about ten or so minutes to say what they have to say, and who might not have the finances or reputation to manage to put out an entire full-length on their lonesome. And that's basically what you have happening hear, with Germany's Atka putting up a short album's worth of material in the same amount of time it'll take you to shave ( your face not your genitals). During that brief period they manage to pull-off what I would consider a minor miracle: grindcore with a metalcore influence that doesn't suck. No that wasn't a typo. Believe it. My hypothesis is that it has something to do with the fact that they aren't American and have less exposure to Hot Topic exploitation and the God-forsaken faggotry of Crabcore, but that explanation is still lacking. A few years ago there was a German band calling themselves War From A Harlot's Mouth who also claimed to play Grind with metalcore influences, but only played breakdown after breakdown and a couple of synth-driven interludes. Uber-lame. 

But take one listen to the fourth track on here and you'll know how it should be down. The band pairs a quasi-Eye Of The Tiger power metalish guitar riff with an insane Dave Witte style blastbeat and come pretty damn close to changing the entire extreme metal game as we know it. Those thirty seconds definatly comes across as a sneak peak into what we may be listening to a couple years down the road, and for that song alone you should shell out the ten bucks and buy this fucking album (right here, bitch: http://Shop.relapse.com/store/product.aspx?ProductID=34726). I know I did, but that was only after I couldn't find it anywhere on the internet, which proves there definatly are benefits to being super-obscure and having less then ten people know who you are. 

There are a lot of moments on here that sound like when your typical Dillinger/Norma Jean clone tries to fuck you up with some jarring time changes and tempos, only this time they're done right, so that your ears are smacked with intensity rather then cliche. Keeping it all together are plenty of good ol' fashioned Death/Grind sections, puncuated by a vocalist with an awesomly wide-range, and some classic double-bass-three-on-a-meathook beatdowns. There's even a complete noise freakout/meltdown on the last track that scared the shit out of me just like the first time I listened to "U.S.S.A." by the Butthole Surfers. 

Overall this album reminds me of Animosity's "Shut It Down", possibly my favoprite Metalcore album of all time, and the more freeform elements of Grind bands like Pig Destroyer (Scott Hull did the final mix for theyre half of the album) and Discordance Axis, making it an unbelievably promising start from this young band. 

Bonus Points: The super-cool artsyness of the album cover and layout. Very reminiscent of The Inalienable Dreamless. I love when super-heavy bands match their intensity with equally artsy and unique album covers. Not everything has to have a picture of some girl eating feces while getting raped to death by goblins on it!

Download Track 4 Here (Toilet Paper Not Included):

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3aa504410be3b464e7ba8e3c6e11ce206006a82711e6c9f1a9a26c4ed87536eb

Album Review: Hutt

Band: Hutt aka The Hutt

Album: Crushing The Grindcore Trademark (Three-way split with Gate and Noisear)

Genre: Grindcore with Thrash influences

Year: 2008

Label: Blastasfuk

Website: www.myspace.com/huttgrind

Review: There are few things that make me happier then when I accidently discover a band that brings it so hard that I literally cannot prevent my body from involuntarily headbanging. This happened to me when I first popped this split into my car on the way to the YMCA so I could work out while getting ugly stares from all the WASPS who infest the gym there because I'm wearing camo shorts and an offensive band-related t-shirt (yeah that's right, I work out in full Death Metal uniform. I'm not trying to brag, I just don't own any mesh shorts or mesh anything). About two minutes into the trip I had to pull into a local gas station, stop the car and just listen. Holy shit. Do you remember the first time you listened to Prowler In The Yard, and that chugging Thrashy part in Trojan Whore came on, and every hair in your body immediatly sprang to full attention? Yeah, it was like that. If I ever had to leap off a cop car with dual uzis while lighting up members of my local precinct (that means you Officer Friendly!), I would want this shit in the background. Thats the beauty of whats going on here, Grindcore that never stagnates and gets up it's own ass with blastbeats (cough, cough, Gadget, Nasum, Rotten Sound). Yeah, yeah, some people like that, and good for them, but it's definatly a trap that snares a ton of bands into unlistenability. Hutt not only completly avoid that, they combine elements of Thrash and Grind to tear it up like theyre on a 20 and 0 kill-streak in Call Of Duty. Sprinting from to cover to cover, unloading a brief and precise barrage at key moments, and occasionally sneak up behind you when your not looking a smash the shit out of your cranuim with the butt of their SMG. Slayer is definatly a key word hear, as is Napalm, and some straight-up-your-ass-punk moments that would absolutly demand circle pits in the live arena. Goddam do these guys kick some serious ass. Plenty of Old School vibes here to remind you why you got into this shit in the first place but without the shitty production that spoils a lot of otherwise good albums. Get this album anyway you can, and listen to the dual katana attacks that are Evolui A Obito and Feto No Frasco, and you'll understand. More. Now. Please. 

Bonus Points: Trio with only guitar, vox and drums. Haven't enough amazing Grind bands shared the same set up to make it a genre standard by now? (My apologies to Dan Lilker). Also, they're from Brazil, which is cool. Porn and Grind are two exports to be proud of.

Download Freto No Frasco:

http://www.mediafire.com/file/gtdtbo0yidi/13 Feto No Frasco.mp3

And The Nominees Are...Really Shitty

My Thoughts On This Year's Best Picture Nominees.

By Gene Meyer

1. A Serious Man. A movie Time magazine described as "almost too Jewish for Hollywood." This leads me to believe that the film is simply a ninty minute depiction of Mel Brooks and Woody Allen rubbing their penis' together while force-feeding eachother bagels and cream-cheese.

2. The Blindside. A movie for rich white people to watch in order to feel good about themselves while still contributing no money to Haitian relief funds. 

3. Up. Much like last years Wall-E, this movie would best benefit from a mandatory consumation of an entire bottle of Robotussin and four hits of Black Pyramid, Sugar-Cube LSD prior to it's viewing. I heard there was a deleted scene where the talking dog licked peanut butter off of the old man's sack.

4. An Education. It's french, so who the fuck cares?

5. District 9. I actually really enjoyed this movie. It had a great mix of metaphorical socail commentary and people's heads exploding. Still don't understand why they cast Murray from Flight of The Conchords as the main character. If they made it into a porno it would have to be called Dick Stroke 69.

6. Up In The Air. I looked up the term "Smug Hollywood Faggot" on Wikipedia, and all that appeared was a picture of George Clooney. I still think the best role of his career was as Turkey No. 37 on the South Park Thanksgiving Special. 

7. Precious: Based On The Novel No One Read Because Reading Sucks And Is Gay. No person as morbidly obese as Mo'Nique should be allowed to recieve any form of award, period. Even the title of the movie is grossly overwieght. At least we know who to call if anyone is ever in need of an NFL linemen.

8. Inglorious Basterds. Because the twenty-seven million Russians and Poles who died fighting the Third Riech just weren't entertaining enough for Hollywood. Isn't it great that after a twenty year career that only produced two and a half good movies your allowed to completly rewrite history? Brad Pitt and the guy from The Office kill Hitler and win the war for America, YAY!!!!! I heard Tarintino's next movie is going to be about how Bush thwarted Al Queda's plan to attack the World Trade Center before they could follow through with it, while simeltaneously restructing the dam system of the city of New Orleans! While were at it, let's pretend the 2004 and 2008 World Series' never happened, we won Vietnam, and Dane Cook was never born! I sure do miss the days of ear mutilation, and guys named Zed raping strangers in his basement while a buddy watches and masterbates. Ahh, simpler times.

9. Avatar. I don't care how "3-D" or "Eye-popping" (more like Ball-gagging) this movie is, you can't rehash the plots of Pochahantos and Fern Fucking Gully into an Oscar-caliber movie. I'm sick and tired of Hollywood telling me how I should be saving the enviroment while they burn through massive quantites of natural resources every goddam day just to make mindless bullshit nonsense starring Drew Barrymore and that Madea transvestite. Glorified Smurf Porn, but it doesn't even matter cause I heard no one saw it anyway.

10. The Hurt Locker. By far the only movie to come out this year to rightfully even deserve a nomination (you can maybe throw Invictus in there too if your feeling generous). Easily the most visceral and powerful war film since Saving Private Ryan, the cinematography brilliantly portrays the terse intensity of modern combat through the language of subtle camerea tremors and zooms in and out of focus. The story and acting both sucessfully re-interprate war movie paradimes in an intelligent manner and the film itself avoids preaching any sort of message or view point by instead leaving it's events and characters open to interpritation. Plus there's also a scene where the main character is listening Heavy Metal and brooding, awesome! If this movie doesn't win then there is no hope for the world or hummanity and the four horsemen shall ride us on their demonic steeds of Algathar into the abyss of endless peril, followed by the rise of Lucifer from his throne at the helm of the dark city of Chaos.